In Kenosha, at the door of a new white house in a new white neighborhood with curvy streets, low trees and developer-landscaped gardens, I knocked on the storm door, bang, ba-bang, bang. A huge white old English bulldog slid around the corner from the kitchen to me, the stranger, barking as hard as his docile voice would allow. His owner appeared looking as if she could barely hold him back.
I shouted through the door, “I love dogs! It’s ok. Can I pet him?” We all smiled, dog included, and he came out to greet me with a gentle push of his massive short body against my legs.
“Hi, I’m with the Kenosha Democrats. Have you voted yet?”
“No, we’re voting tomorrow.”
“What’s his name?”
“Arnold.”
“Arnold? Like Schwarzenegger?”
“Yes.” We both cracked up as Arnold dutifully looked one to the other, pleased to hear his name.
“You know, Schwarzenegger just endorsed Kamala Harris.”
Thus, I established my purpose in knocking on her door on a bright white Saturday afternoon.
“I know!” she said. Then she mouthed the words, “I’m voting for her.”
“Oh great,” I said, “”Thank you.”
Canvassers use a handy cell phone app, Minivan, to record voters’ responses. The drop down menu lists Strong Democrat, Lean Democrat, Undecided, Lean Republican and Strong Republican. Since my voter didn’t give it her all, I decided she was a Lean Democrat, punched it in and moved on to the house across the street.
As I came back to the sidewalk, all of a sudden a white SUV sped out of Arnold’s driveway and stopped in front of me. She rolled down the window and shouted, “I’m for Kamala! Going to vote right now! Good luck!”
I thought back to her open door and realized someone else had been rattling around in the kitchen. A husband? She couldn’t let her husband know she was voting for Kamala Harris?
This gave me hope. I changed her in Minivan to Strong Democrat. Voting Harris.
Perhaps she represented a political ad where Julia Roberts voiced, “in the one place in America where women still have a right to choose, you can vote any way you want, and no one will ever know,” suggesting women can lie to their husbands about their vote. Apparently Fox News went berserk over this ad, as if spouses never lie to each other.
Today, the day before election day, it hit me how different life will soon be. No matter who wins, I’ll have no more reason to hope — for the vote, for my candidates, that the country will be at peace, or that democracy survives. It-is-what-it-is acceptance will necessarily move in to care for me.
Saturday afternoon trips from Chicago to Kenosha, stopping in the bustling Democratic headquarters then out to canvass voters will halt. My calves will never forget the two-step entrances to every house in Kenosha County. But memories of coffee and sandwiches at The Buzz Cafe on Sixth Avenue will fade.

I do have something to hope for.
Incoming texts and emails will be reduced to a trickle.






tall navy-suited body seemed to shift the atmosphere, moving the dust molecules away from him and clearing the air as he moved. He gave a hardy salutation and proceeded to introduce himself to each person while he circumnavigated the room, one-by-one. I was halfway around the table, and when he reached me I stood and looked up to his bemused rosy face, full of laugh lines. He had a big red nose, like Santa Claus. As I tried to introduce myself, he interrupted me by saying he knew who I was— the Executive Director of the state Democratic Party. He asked if I knew my name was the same as one of King Lear’s daughters. “Yes,” I said, “My name came from her.” He leaned over and whispered let’s keep that between us since she wasn’t such a great character. And just like that we had a best-buddies pact.

This photo from August 7, 2007 shows us with sunny smiles, blouses opened to our bra-lines, red-faced, droopy-haired and sweaty at an outdoor Presidential Forum in Chicago’s Soldier Field. All seven Democratic candidates are on stage in the background: Chris Dodd, John Edwards, Bill Richardson, Joe Biden, Dennis Kucinich, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. It was a full 15 months before the election, and Hillary was way ahead in the polls.
dancing around and singing songs for three hours waiting for the 90-minute event to start.
savior, a requirement for inclusion in the exclusive Fellowship. One of the elders had broken away from a local Plymouth Brethren Church and opened the basement of his family’s large, wooded, colonial home for Bible study and Sunday services for us blue-jeaned recovering addicts and alcoholics. As a newly sobered-up ex-hippie, full of self-loathing, all I wanted was to be accepted in that Fellowship.

commandments to week-old smiles, cries in the night, a nine-month old sprinter and a child who eats only chicken. My work is to stand my ground in the whirlwind advice from mothers, aunts and grandmothers. To learn to ride a baby on the back of my bicycle. To animate words as I point to clouds, trees and cars as if I’ve never seen these things before in my life.

families, friends, team managers, coaches and owners as they crept down Lake Shore Drive onto Michigan Avenue. Cubs first baseman and cancer-survivor Anthony Rizzo lifted the trophy above his head as fans shouted, “We Never Quit.”


