Oh no! Parables

A few months ago, I wrote about a preaching at church on the parable of the ten virgins, or bridesmaids as they say in modern versions of the New Testament. In the story, told by Jesus in the gospel of Matthew, the ten women are waiting for the arrival ceremony outside the gates of the wedding venue. Five of them, known as the wise bridesmaids, came prepared with full oil lamps, greeted the wedding party, and they all entered the gates to the feast. The other five, known as the foolish bridesmaids, were out buying lamp oil, took too much time in the shop, and got locked out of the party. The preacher says the oil is a metaphor for hope. Always have a little hope stored up because you never know when God will present herself with the next great opportunity.

I really hate parables. They’ve always made me feel bad about myself. Oil as a metaphor for hope seems a stretch, but it still makes me cringe. In this and all Bible stories, I relate to the foolish ones, the worst person in the story. I’m never ready, always late, and a failure at time management. 

The question arises: why would Jesus, my earliest-remembered friend, use the parables to traumatize me with such heavy doses of self-blame? No wonder people have stopped attending Christian churches.

At the church I attend, the Sunday bulletin at the end of May included this statement: 

This summer, we will take our messages from the stories that Jesus loved to tell: Parables. 

Oh Jeez. That gives me about thirteen Sundays’ worth of sermons to learn and absorb some wider spiritual truths that have eluded me thus far. I have hope that the preacher is up to the task. In his kick-off to the summer pulpit, he talked about the parable of the Sower. Do you know that one? The farmer throws seeds around willy-nilly throughout the land, giving no thought to where they settle. Some seeds settle on rocks, some on thorns. I’ve always considered myself the thorny soul who has choked off God’s seeds through my own self-will. Another parable evoking self-blame.

When I was younger, I used to buy cheap packets of wildflower seeds at Walgreens and toss them around Lincoln Park on my morning run in places that needed a bit of sprucing up. I never bothered cultivating them; I simply hoped a few would spring to life. It was a labor of rebellious love. 

The preacher reminded me of those long-ago spring days. He interprets the seeds as love, God spreading love around. Sometimes, love takes. Sometimes, it doesn’t. But God keeps throwing it out there, just like I kept throwing out seeds of wildflowers. Love is power, says the preacher,  tender power, vulnerable but power nonetheless, capable of changing people. The sighting of Spring’s first tulips makes me happy, no matter how anti-happy I may be. That’s powerful love.

Perhaps a summer of parables will be ok. 

Falsely Accused

Falsely Accused

Fresh off a Zoom webinar titled Midwest Reparations, I rushed to my local coffee shop for a takeaway to sip during my upcoming current events group.

“12-ounce coffee in a 16-ounce cup?” The White barista asked. That’s my usual, with room for cream.

“Yes, please. What are all these new pastries? Chocolate cake? Key lime pie?”

“Yep, they’re new. All from different bakeries” said the barista.

“I’ll be back later with friends. They. Will. Love. These.” I said.

The Blackroots Alliance webinar that morning enlightened me on reparations projects in the Midwest. These are nascent activities reviving the 159-year-old “40 Acres and a Mule” policy for emancipated slaves that was promised and then revoked during Reconstruction. The initial focus of current reparations projects is research to uncover the descendants of enslaved people and how they’ve been impacted. Non-Black allies join at the end of the process when it’s time to distribute funds. Research is conducted by the harmed community, Black Americans, particularly African descendants, who look through the eyes of the tortured generations of chattel slavery. Non-Black Americans cannot be trusted to do this research since they see through a different lens: the eyes of the colonizers, the enslavers, the guardians of the dominant culture.

With this new information,  I was wondering how I, an old White woman, could fit into the reparations movement as I filled my coffee with half and half and rushed over to my current events group.

The group discussed the news of familiar territory: TFG, the former guy, and his latest legal shenanigans, immigration, climate change, gun control, and the ever-evolving White Christian Nationalism. Afterward, a small group sauntered over to the coffee shop where I’d spotted the new pastries. Six of us pulled up around a small table, coats draped over our chairs, rising one by one to fetch our drinks. 

I was the last one to the counter.

“I’m sorry, we can’t serve you.” said the barista.

“What?”

“We can’t serve you. The manager wants to talk to you.”  I joined my friends and announced what happened. The manager appeared and asked to speak to me privately.

“We can’t serve you because there’s been a report of you using a racial slur this morning.”

“What? What racial slur?

“The “N” word.”

“Well, there’s a mistake. I’ve never used that word in my life.’

“You understand we have to investigate when something like this is reported?”

“Wait. Are you accusing me of this?

“We have to investigate. Meanwhile, we cannot serve you.”

“For how long?”

“For the unforeseeable future.”

“You’re kidding. Look at me. I really don’t have an unforeseeable future.”

My friends were incredulous. ‘You? Boy, have they got the wrong person.’ They were ready to mount a protest in front of the building, signs and all.

In the following days, I connected with the company’s Chief Operating Officer. She apologized and emailed me a store voucher for $150. That’s a lot of coffee.

The coffee reparations, however, failed to dispel the lingering notion that I’m not a credible witness to my own story, that I’m not sufficiently worthy to be believed. How can we expect descendants of enslaved Africans to automatically manifest self-worth after enduring generations of false accusations, lynchings, and pressed-down powerlessness? 

We owe them a lot.