Lessons Learned: God

Lessons Learned: God

First Grade—Third Grade

God is a white man with a white beard and white flowing hair, sometimes holding white stone tablets, later to be revealed as the Ten Commandments. Then He has a son, Jesus, and simultaneously is Jesus. Jesus’ mother, Mary, and God aren’t married. Then God becomes a ghost, the Holy Ghost. Then He’s all three. Three persons in one God.

All people who were ever born are sinners who can never redeem themselves. But God gives Jesus to Catholics for salvation from their sins. Only Catholics have access to Jesus. They go to heaven when they die, thanks to Jesus dying on the cross for their sins. Everyone else goes to hell.

Lesson: Everyone is bad and God only likes Catholics.

Fourth Grade—Sixth Grade

God created Adam and Eve in His likeness and placed them in Paradise, a tropical garden with no predators or stinging bugs, and all the animals, flowers, and fruit in the world. God forbade them to eat apples from the Tree of Knowledge, but they wanted to be like God, to have His knowledge, so they ate the apples. He got mad and threw them out of Paradise. They had to fend for themselves—grow their food, make their clothes, and pay attention to God.

Adam and Eve had two sons, Cain and Abel. God seemed to like Abel better. Cain got jealous and killed Abel. God punished Cain by throwing him out of his hometown into the desert.

Lesson: Avoid God.

Seventh Grade—Eighth Grade

Jews and Romans alike feared Jesus for riling up the citizenry against their oppressive power structures. The Roman king of Jerusalem sentenced Jesus to a brutal crucifixion. Even though He was a Jew, the Jews didn’t come to his defense.

When Jesus’ followers went to the tomb to see His dead body, Jesus was gone. God resurrected Jesus, body, and soul to live forever. This is what happens to Catholics. They live forever. In Paradise.

“Tiger, Tiger, Burning bright, 
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry.”

Lesson: I want to be a nun.

Ninth Grade

Using my leaky Esterbrook fountain pen,  I write “How can God make evil” in the margin of my English literature textbook next to William Blake’s first stanza of “The Tiger”.  

Lesson: God is confusing.

Teenage—Twenties 

I look for the heavenly in alcohol, drugs, and men. I see God. Then I don’t. 

Lesson: There is no God.

Thirties—Sixties

There is a Higher Power. Maybe God. Maybe Jesus. Maybe the Holy Spirit. Maybe Buddha. Not a Catholic. Not even a Christian.

Lesson: Keep looking.

Seventh Decade

Casting off the lifelong mantle of sinner; I’m finally hip to the knowledge no one is born bad. God does not create evil and Jesus didn’t die to save me—God doesn’t need atonement from me or Jesus. There’s no heaven. No hell. Resurrection may be so. At the end, perhaps time and space will simply let go of me and I’ll wander an endless field of puppies, aka, Paradise.

Lesson: I’m OK. 

Sweet Paradise: Harbour Island

Sweet Paradise: Harbour Island

The slow slide and bump after our plane landed at the North Eleuthera International Airport told me we’d slid off the runway. I froze in my window seat seeing the tropical brush below. The full plane exploded in happy applause. We were safe.

“Don’t worry”, yelled the pilot, “this happens all the time. The sand blows onto the runway.” He backed up onto the tarmac, and the door of the plane opened to a rush of fragrance. Roses? Coconut? Ginger?

“That’s frangipani,“ said the flight attendant, “you’ll smell it everywhere.”
The low wide-leaf vegetation we drove through on the 50-mile-an-hour, ten-minute taxi ride sounded like we were driving through a cornfield. At the dock the aroma of wet gaseous pulp permeated the air from the surrounding mangrove trees. Gasoline and oil from the idling water taxis stirred up into the tropical air. Fellow passengers and I boarded the small canopied motorboat with our suitcases full of clothes we’d never use.

We sped off toward Dunmore Town, the only tgovt_dockown on Harbour Island. Saltwater sprayed our welcoming faces and dried out our pollution-soaked nostrils. The sun heated, then soothed the top of my head, melting my restlessness.

Flowery shirts on happy-faced Bahamians greeted us on the crowded oversized cement dock. I announced to the gathering on the dock that I was going to Sunsets and was directed to Otis, the driver for all visitors to Sunsets. The 2-mile drive from town on a low sandy road through high vegetation evoked adventure. Otis talked all the way in an accent I had never before heard.

I had just run out on a job as the campaign manager for a dying cause. I’d been at a loss as to how to keep the campaign afloat with only one other paid staffer. Feeling depressed, disappointed in myself and physically weak, I complained to my cousin Therese who told me to join her, her husband and two children in their vacation house in the Bahamas.

Sunsets, a 3-bedroom cottage with windows all around looked westward onto the bay between Harbour Island and Eleuthera. I claimed my room, unpacked, and waited the few days for the family to arrive. I  read James Michener’s Caribbean while lounging in a hammock between two rubber trees. Snorkeling in the undulating salty turquoise water under a cloudless sky, I kept a slow pace with the barracuda, sea turtles, starfish, octopus – hyper-aware of every movement, every flutter, every splash.th-3

The day Therese and her family arrived I went for a long walk on the pink sandy beach, ate fresh avocados, papayas and mangoes and fell asleep with my book on the terrace overlooking the bay.  An unearthly, ominous pounding from the driveway of the cottage woke me up.  I rushed around back and found three-year-old Melissa jumping up and down on the roof of their car. She screamed, “There’s my cousin Regan!”. Sweet paradise, I was a happy camper.